In the midst of crisis.....

Meds kicking in but
I'm just wary'd out
Told me life was a journey
It can be all good and then things turn south
This road is unpaved and lading with worry

This is my pill to swallow
So alone in this journey

I didn't choose this hand but i'll play
I have no choice

But my.....voice
But.....my....voice

But..............my voice
Is even louder than before
Illegal raiding...
at the door to your mind

It took time for me to find

How to walk this line

How to boss this line

How not to cross......the line

Fitful in anger
I get mad at my savior
Mad at my creator
Then mad at my behavior

Life is a blameless game yet we blame and rationalize until we actually believe we can do no wrong

I do wrong, so lets cut the shit

I used to be the chick that cut up bricks

I used to be the girl to me-ow and get those licks

I used to be the chick that took no shit

I used to be the chick that would cut you quick

I used to be the chick that wasn't enticed by pricks

Never enticed by dick

I learned some lessons quick

I'm the survivor who suffers in silence

But choose to live vibrant

Learned how to be less violent

Learned when I didn't need to challenge

Learned its not about the hood you leave

Only about the planting of seeds
So you can grow these teens

I know these things
I have told you things
LIFE HAS SHOWED ME THINGS

I had to get my head right
Want no one to have to experience my life
But get my book when its out so you can understand my life

I will never get my head right

So i try to get through and show these youth what to do
for the future awaits

As of now I still wait for this sickle cell crisis to abate

I'm in so much pain

Writing is my escape

I went from carrying weight
To carrying THIS weight

I'm in my head

Hoping this crisis will erase...

I can only be so lucky

Sickle cell be having me stuck c

Making me judge me, so i think everyone else judge me

Makes me weak and vulnerable
Wondering how anyone can ever love me

Wondering if anyone can ever love me
Wondering if i can ever put down my guard to........

let someone love me

I'm in my head