What is created

I still my mind
But yet the life it came
A life has reign
All my ends and outs
my portions and segregations abound

He wears a crown
I need to get down but theres no need to get down

Its been sanctioned
new life is awaiting
No formal chasing
No formal erasing

God has touched and bled and took his time to shed

The blood of your honor
The blood of dishonor

But i wear my truths

Its only never anymore a dishonor

Salvant
Screeching
Born in this honor
Born for this honor

The bible breached it
..she was born in this honor

Forget me not...love living or be left with just existing. -Davinna Thrower

Don't forget the initial
Don't forget all the issues
Don't forget how im real true

To share my story with you

Don't forget you have an end too
Don't forget these eyes that looked in you
Don't forget the lies you lay into
Don't forget the laugh of whom sent you

Don't forget the crazy chick in all venues
Hell raising shit in all venues
Bitch endangered crip
My name is it
Its not the same and shit
Who can we continue to blame for this

Who sent you

How no one wanted me to change and shit
No one realized the game was sick
No on realized the blame of it
No one realized the change it did
No one saw a frightened kid
No one heard the cries of a combat kid
No one knows the effects of PTSD like i did
No one knew the hurt of a closed fist like i did
No one knew the hope to live like i did
No one lost hope in living like i did
Society pulling but no one experienced what i did

No one knew what i did
No one knew what it is
No one knows how tired i' is

No one talked about the entire things
No one ever talked about the lies and things
No one talked about the ripple effect
No one talks about the pain and regret
No one talks about the rape and deflect
The simple regret
The little regrets
The tremendous regrets
The stupendous regrets
The try to end it regrets
The almost ending it regrets

The fact of being here regrets

The fact of being here regrets
The loss of being here regressed

No one talks about the faults and blame
No one talks about my ability to remain the same
Remain the same
Remain the same

No one thinks of a child distained
No one thinks about the flow of things
No.one thinks about the ultimate cause
No one thinks about the individual wars
No one thinks about the past of us in chains
Lynched and hanged
Water hosed missing our rights all the same
War on drugs
And slavery is the same
We lose the abilty to function like 3/5 of a person it hasn't changed

War on poverty
Psychotic idiocracy still remains
I need to start over but fear
the change will remain the same
I need to start over
but the pain remains
We need to start over but internal blames the same

I need to get over.....being changed by things
Lynched in a brain that requires the heak in change forever wrought to try ro exact the change
No one thinks about our resort to change

I am woman
I am vibrant
I refuse to remain silent
I am tireless off my crying
Tireless but still striving
Tireless but still riding

Trying to forget all my grounding
I need to forget all my grounding
Requipped with no silence
I embody all the violence

All i want is silence
All i need is silence
All i achieve and speak on will only be met with more silence

Countless violence
Our blood is spilled within mire violence

I am a teacher, a preacher, a questionable seeker, a thinker, a heavy drinker, a given up creature...a used to be rambunctious leader... a dealer, a healer, a speaker, a poet with immeasurable features
My words are my testimony
My worlds are the future

Ive grown bored with the future
Im forlorn off the future
Im cordorned off from the future
Forced to live each day in war with my ruler
Forced to live in war with a body of no future
Forced to still record the angst of my intruders
Forced to still endure this pain of no future
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW I CAN BE CAUSE TO CHANGE ALL YOUR FUTURES
It is with remorse if you don't change for the future

Nothing

I dont want to think
I never want to think
I want to live in a stupor of non existence
It hurts too much to think
I can not forgive this

I cannot be relentless when im tired of resentment
Im scared of commitment
Need no one knowing how fucked up i live my existence

Im the witness

But the holes i dig are deep and offer no resistance
When i fall
I fall into
An abyss surrounded by malice, guarded by challenge
Revoking the solice
Irrevocably damaged

Irrevocably damaged

Theres no hope for me damaged

I dont want to be
Irreversibly sandwiched
Dont get close to me
I'm emotional challenged

Its no longer in stilled beliefs
My mind is the chalice
Poisoned so don't drink from it

Wondering how i still manage...

Dungeons and dragons

Lost in a circle
Rounding about
Heat on my turbulence
Just riding it out

Hot from the urgency
Hot from insurgency
Hot from reworking me
Hot from....reworking me

Locked in a room
And no key exist
Locked in a room where i don't exist
Locked in a place i can't transist

Locked in my brain
Trying to reboot the shit
Trying to recoup for shit
Trying to be loose with it
Not trying to be losing it

Im ill equipped
Im in the quits
Im in this shit
I need an end to it

I need a friend in this
I ruin my friends and shit
I ruin the glimpse i get
I ruin.....myself as quick

I need to run....
But it cant be done
I cant be done
This fight cant be won

Shit

If i died today

No longer watching the sun rise

No longer waiting to get up after the sunrise
No alarm to go off
No place to spend my life
No place to grow

Only the sunrise

No need to know what exist after the sunrise

No need to persist
After the sunrise

No need to fit in or exist
In the craziness it takes to exist

After the sunrise

No more demons to have fits
No more waking in the middle of the night exist
No more pain in my limbs
No more strain to my zen
No more hate from within
No more judging from within
No more doubt from within

Only the sunrise

No more torturing of this soul
No more balance to behold
No more challenges to be hold
No more fear of the cold

Just the sunrise

No more untamable beast
No more sanctioned retreats
No more cooking relief
No more writing from me
No more doubting, im free

Only the sunrise

No more traveling today
No more blue waters off a bay
No more jumping
out of planes or snorkeling in the A (Asia)

No more experiencing changes
No more opinions on life changes
No more working til i die
No more disease that hurt inside
No more disease to hurt inside

Only just the sunrise

No more questions in the dark
No more equations of whats not
No more challenges to me
No more others left to please

No more  of things i can't take
No telling love ones i need to thank
No more hugs or different chances

No more life or flirty glances

Nothing more left to fix
No more claims that exist
No more trees in the eye line
No more juggling off the sidelines
No more sleepless nights through the nighttime

But the sun rise

Remember the truth
Mortality is not invisible
We garner things to be visible
We harbor things as individuals
We make it seem as if mortality is livable
False hope of our physical
Or busy talk
Just busy thoughts

Oh wait here comes another sunrise

Open your eyes in live people and remember and hold dear to you what you would miss

If you hadn't woke up..this sunrise

Badgers

In my mind
No cohesiveness of existence
Counting instance
I count within this

World of the endless
Words from the friendless

Travesties of macrebe
I always knew there was no chance for me

Fighting through there being no chance for me

Living with knowing there would be no chance for me

Living and growing

Knowing there's no chance for me

Identity showing
In it being no chance for me

Calmness growing
with having no chance for me

I'm still knowing
I took every chance I see

I'm still growing
We still romance in unadvancing see
In
Us knowing

We will never advance in things

We still growing

In living the fantasies
Im still hoping
You give up the fantasies
And keep us growing

To seperate the fantasies

And get on with
Going away from these childish things
House niggas growing
To live in those fantasies

But i know them...
They material fantasies
They embody the fancy things
There are chosen to embody
the shiny things
Niggas glowing
Chasing in a fantasy

I cant hold them to be false because of what they see
Dont wanna know em

I live it to breathe
you live life for....
see

Life is more important than hyping non righteous things

And i still know them
Eradicating our hopes and dreams
Jails is potent
With stifling the lives it ceased

Fighting the growing
Incapacitation of life regimes

We lost the spoken
Who reiterated our lives and dreams

Niggas so spent on lacking in life and dreams
We need some spoken to remember the life and dreams

I'll be outspoken to not table the life and dreams

I have spoken
profess in these life and dreams

I'm  still knowing

I won't regress in selling this life and dreams

I should confess

Don't sleep on how smart we seem

Intellect growing...you think we have forgotton things

I should regress
but you need to understand the life we bring

I should address
Embody the simple things
Egyptian rulers can proclaim
Our vibrant things

Mesopotamia and how we blessed really started things

Egyptian rulers and how no one questioned things
We were rulers
Whether we kings or queens
Simple rulers
Hieroglyphics profess such things

Dont forget we powerful
Even if outside our means

Because I think your confused..... #myblackisbeautiful  #africa #melatonin #slavery #wedontforget #itwasonlyboughtaweekago
#lifeformehasbeennocrystalstairs #immerseinyourhistory #nowaterhose #nolynching #wearenotourgrandparentschildren #wejump  #wewillbeatyourass#shitsnotgoongdownthesame #thatswhyblackpeoplereallydontlikewater

.

It is what it is

I'm that bk banger
Black lives changer
Mortal world changer
The cycle of violence breaker

Im the one thay escaped from all the darkness
Took my ass to school so i can school the block in

Code switching and being resilient
How to prevent shit

In this changing city
From gritty to pretty mirage gritty
Brooklyn ny state of mind in me

Multi-degreed so you believe harder
Street scholar
But fall to my knees to head father

I semi-have faith, i semi-relate, I'm semi-irate

But this is my plate, so im a eat it up

From ganging to glory
This is my story
Im protected by glory
Anointed by glory

Brooklyn raised me
Then it chewed me out
And then it changed me

A girl grew in brooklyn
But it was elohim that saved me

Conditioned fools you need to start to believe harder
Be more then street scholars
So you can dream farther

Pick some cotton
We all still niggas at seperate fountains
If you don't know by now damn you've  frogotton

Back of the bus shit
Emmit still hanging in my circumference
Not protected by gov'ment
Incarcerating our governance

Jom had a hand in segregating all our cities,
souls is empty
But  all the water hoses are not empty

Raped and reprieved
Ancestors hanging on trees
Denying us dreams
3/5 eradicating our means

It was never our dream
We all kings and queens
Let's  not forget about things
That help us hold dreams

Jails just stealing our men
being stolen again
but the ships are the penz
Incapacitation within
War on drugs was the end
It was all set up by them

The war on poverty designed to degenerate our intellectual property
We can't solve it b
When set up for failure in this hypocrisy

Idiocracy
Idiots jumping on idiocraty
Mediocrity
Done with this world
Its a monopoly

Of injustice

Incarcerating all the righteous

Systematically untrustworthy

Burning wood is not a smell delivered to the ghetto
No....burning of sage or
Hickory dickory dock
Cherrywood or oak

GSR, CDR, GFR is more the smell of the revenue
Blocks ain't scared of you

Systematically evolved to still not level with you
It's the hood boss
They have their measures to
Although faded
They want to hold on to something to prove

Instead of growing the tools gifted to them
Lack of utilization makes it rusty
How can you trust thee
when there's no one you can trust...see...

Yet I still can't leave home
I'm the one in my family being gutsy
New York City or bust g
This city has touched me
A girl grew in Brooklyn lacking luxury

Was raised in the south so don't tell me how it must be
Racist enterprise
lack my tone no idea of what it must be
don't make a career on how you protesting what it must be, don't swing your opinion if you never experienced what it must be
no swinging from chandeliers no matter the shade still house nigga in this country

In the midst of crisis.....

Meds kicking in but
I'm just wary'd out
Told me life was a journey
It can be all good and then things turn south
This road is unpaved and lading with worry

This is my pill to swallow
So alone in this journey

I didn't choose this hand but i'll play
I have no choice

But my.....voice
But.....my....voice

But..............my voice
Is even louder than before
Illegal raiding...
at the door to your mind

It took time for me to find

How to walk this line

How to boss this line

How not to cross......the line

Fitful in anger
I get mad at my savior
Mad at my creator
Then mad at my behavior

Life is a blameless game yet we blame and rationalize until we actually believe we can do no wrong

I do wrong, so lets cut the shit

I used to be the chick that cut up bricks

I used to be the girl to me-ow and get those licks

I used to be the chick that took no shit

I used to be the chick that would cut you quick

I used to be the chick that wasn't enticed by pricks

Never enticed by dick

I learned some lessons quick

I'm the survivor who suffers in silence

But choose to live vibrant

Learned how to be less violent

Learned when I didn't need to challenge

Learned its not about the hood you leave

Only about the planting of seeds
So you can grow these teens

I know these things
I have told you things
LIFE HAS SHOWED ME THINGS

I had to get my head right
Want no one to have to experience my life
But get my book when its out so you can understand my life

I will never get my head right

So i try to get through and show these youth what to do
for the future awaits

As of now I still wait for this sickle cell crisis to abate

I'm in so much pain

Writing is my escape

I went from carrying weight
To carrying THIS weight

I'm in my head

Hoping this crisis will erase...

I can only be so lucky

Sickle cell be having me stuck c

Making me judge me, so i think everyone else judge me

Makes me weak and vulnerable
Wondering how anyone can ever love me

Wondering if anyone can ever love me
Wondering if i can ever put down my guard to........

let someone love me

I'm in my head