I USED TO HAVE THE BLUES: June 2012

Sunday, June 24, 2012

The reason some abort it

The liquor stains

Made a mess of things

and anger is awarded

You fight me still

my logic stills

and think of things that I avoided

Your right this way

but im left hand babe

doing crunches to avoid it

Why do you think i still

Invest in project ills

and no one that can afford it

I loved this one

Is the valley from which i defaulted

I sit here wonderin why

my friends dont think its causious

Cuz I drink to much or belligerent yell as such

You think this is avoidance???

Really?

Me???

This is the life that I need, that I see

and you don't know me for it...............

Sad I thought we were built that strong....

I apologize that I let my mind lead my heart into subordinamce

I let down another person

fool me once, shame on you...........fool me twice, shame on me

I guess I'm fucked

Im not built that strong

I thought I had the power to do what I wanted

You were never supposed to be here

but you were

I cant fathom the feelings that laced into the comfort of my chaise when you laid next to me with no question

Your life was here

I embody the fear

of leaving love at a doorstep

What can I do to make it true and show you I am for it

The lights glance over my lids shining the tears on my cheeks

Why is this the destiny I am given

When all I was given was you living

Beside me, to be beside me

To pick up where my heart beat

The beating slows

My heart is dying

I cant take this

Or replace this

Another weathering of a storm

All I can do is cry.........

what are you doing??

I found love to late

The touch of you left me breathless

I'm not built so strong

I go over in my mind what lead to this and what carried it

and I know that I am wrong

Tis was not your decision

or what you envisioned...

Carry me into the sun

I will stand here proud of you

Lack of time with you

Makes me forget all that was wrong

But we still have Chicago.....

We were made from different wells

But we both could tell

This was something bigger than us

Your Irish breed and my lack of things

Made us equal in our storm

So I hold on

I hope you will too, but I know who is you

Enjoyment fills the song

No taking back what we decided in me or with you for what I was born with

I love you

But you will never feel the encompass of my passing

Here to there....

I need you stable dear...

to weather your circumference

What more can I say but I love you?

I judged you and you showed me what was wrong.....

I guess I'm consigned to being alone

because my heart left with you..........

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Belief is moving
Because of you I can finally see
I thought that the hurt stopped my movement

You moved me forward, letting me know my reaction was stagnated
The ease of my pain left me contemplating
And then you were there

I know now that I am not only meant to be here
But to see here
Tie all loose ends and question

Not spose to be here

My lord has felt the valleys i was lost in
Deal to be forced in
Letting me know.....it happens often

We are marching on to heaven
But beuatiful cant sing me that song

I grasp the last of the truth
what can I mean to you
Then i realize my accordance

It does not matter who disregard my name, or say yours in vain....
Im the reporter to record it
I see the fight
I have dealt with might
leave you to think that your subornate

Feel the art that over takes my heart and tell me chill we can move forward
The power in my body leads me to feel sorry
For all the things i never knew....

I want to move forward...help me find the way

Ignored

I stand at the front of the line

Ignored as if I can't be seen...

I have fought and taught....I can carry on

Resilience is a hell of a thing

Sometimes it leaves you weak and unrecognizable

Who told you I was built that strong and would remain such

Life has dealt an unfair hand

But I have and will continue to play it,

Bluffing death

Knowing I'm not two of a kind

I am one

I am stuck in hell

Like a hermit stuck within It's shell

Hearing the call of the ocean

But finding no water to quench my thirst

This is my devotion and my downfall

Stuck in a hell and no one can tell

Because My exterior shows otherwise

Its my best disguise

Hiding the uncertainty

What you tell me stays in me

What I need to tell stays within me

I can't bring myself to let it go

My brain can only handle so much

My body is facing the repercussions

Who knew chaos would be so fluid

Want to scream but like a tree in the forest

Unsure if anyone would hear me

Or try to stop the free fall

Because they haven't yet

I doubt anyone will

Natural disaster

No stopping the rain

The feeling takes me back to the 200m

Needing that last push but finding nothing in my body to lead me there

Rounding the track, I feel the burst

How long will that contain me

It's getting tiring

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Im a get mine

The smoldering look in your eyes

creates moisture

The lick of your lips silences me

Reflexes are just not the same

I have been weakened

but there is no kryptonite in sight

The stammering shudders envelope me

I rise to the occasion

Float on the object of being as if I was walking on the moon

The senses switch to sensitive

You never did.......

The caress of emotions in a single breathe

Leaving me to catch my breathe

Sharp occurrences

The pleasure leaves me beside myself

Yeah, right there

Quakes rock the stillness of the wave

Bringing the break to the shore

I got mine, you better get yours.....

Hurry up, I have to go to work.........

Betrayal

The hurt stagnates me

The unfathomable has occurred

Who was I to think that you were kin

Belief can be broken

In the fragilness of a word

You made your intentions clear

There is no way around it

This dead end

Prevents me from moving forward

Hoping it was worth it

To search it

Smack it up, flip it, rub it down, and twerk it

Not much to talk about

You initiated the occurrences

Does it make you feel better now??

Second is never best

Toleration of mind fuck

Unconscionable circumstance

Leaving outside high and dry

Pressure points

Pressing the collapse of relations

There is no going back

I been here before

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Ode to the original females: Tom foolery, what happened to the real blue???

The bells still ringing our names

Yoshi, Esh, Beanie

You think the set don't recognize real?

We see the Crystal styling of Ceehy and the Teslie of our Disaster that it turned our blue dreams
Into Blue Stars

Flexing our entertainment, thru wintrop

Reflections of Africa House appearing on Utica
Or was that Ave . D

K.P tripping
Loews theater dipping
The 50's and 90's made it boss

Pool Hall swag,
Clouded glass
Cloud covered whats reported

Showcase swagger, was replaced soon after
With chatting on the cordless

You could reach the New York Raven
We Porno Thugging on Loch
Chilling with the mafia set to Haitian
Cuz they was True Haitian

Squared you to pulp fiction

Yall never listened

Til the Lorkin lit up the park
Pushing the magnum
Making the Dillinger jealous and wanting to glow

I can see the fireworks

Locing 6 points to see David

You wanna flag here
You came from no where

claiming unlawful sets
The epitome of set tripping

I can G stone

The precious jewels of aquamarine

I still gleam, I got that glow

But my brightness leads to blues

What's fake stays there

why act like there's no fear

when I can mop you off your feet

Knuckle game tight, waking up the sleepy

Trying to talk your way out

but your fear is squared

you have no place here
You got 6 minutes
Choose your 1st

Luckily the years dissolved it
Slow on the uptake leaves you unguarded

The barn yard, had no place for you

We never excepted asses or bitches
Try the next farm over

It no longer has a place for me

So move there

No peacing here

You have 6 seconds to get off it

Cuz I see gee see, off the travesty as the baby blue flies

White shirted up
Baby Blue
It was a first

Peace Loc,
Yo cuz what up

the crates used to lead me forward

The claim is laid

My g the same
Acting hard, pay the charge
Question if you can afford it

Don't get it twisted

Retired but I'm always here

Heart pumps no fear,
You ain't leaving here
Your fate could of been avoided

,Still would whip your ass

to show you class

And how to act accordant
Do I have to show fist going up
To show you what was on it

Fake breed fake

Theatrics of a performance
Never no talking

Cuz sometimes they still gotta learn

Shine like royal blue

but I still s m see you

Cuz you aint never earned this OG stature

Now yall all playing games

with crayola

Sick of game's.....I win

Ignorance is not bliss

So what's your excuse?

You can throw fault and blame

Like the cause will change

but it won't, cause the problem is you!

I don't provide faulty claims

or lie on my name
acting childishly immature.....

Speaking out your mouth
As the whiff of shit saturates the air

Guess you talking out your ass...

Again

I can your ulterior motives

I speak the truth

for you it's foreign

Popping the bubble
On the trouble and that four
Hops over you
Leaving me and all the pieces in a straight line

Monopolizing lights, failing to realize this is the clue to winning

Checkmate

I win, mother fucker

Game over

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Lost at Sea

I am alone
The depiction of god leaves me weary
This shit is scary, handling on your own

Provides me with weakness
My soul wont keep this
But is conditioned to weather all the storms

I fight for my freedom
from the challenges of my blood
I'm tired of being tired.....
Resigned with in myself to know

My demands are patient.....
I grow vacant .

I'M LOST AT SEA