I could be mad

could be mad

I was born with imperfections

Sickle cell anemia ravaging a body just born

I could be mad

Set up for failure through watching addictions, taking on addictions, fighting addictions

I could be mad

Physical abuse...the brutal Beatings, emotional abuse

mantra’d on you ain’t never gonna be shit

I could be mad

Left on my own while you follow another mans rule

I could be mad

By myself trying to figure out my same trying to figure out my brain

Losing those I grew close to

I could be mad

Friends turning on me

Behavior is well taught

I damn near always fought

For a color designed in separation

I could be mad

Paying my own way through college

The rates are hunting me down

Flag at half stance cuz these loans is cutting me down

Wounded with the bullet holes of knowledge just shoving me down

I thought I was spose to be a queen but these taxes is shutting me down

Equipped with the cycle of nonsense 

Keeps putting me down

I could be mad

I’ll fitting in my skin

My body full of sin

Trying to grasp the soul of within

Faltering not knowing where to begin

Again

I could be mad

Super saver

Bad behavior

I listen to you and you just ignore this neighbor

Feel as if you have caused this behavior

Friends are not friends when they don’t stop to ask why you insist on this behavior

I could be mad

At the abandonment by all

It’s about you when you call

Don’t give a fuck about me at all

I could be mad

I helped you out the pinch

I helped reformulate your shit

Only to get ditched and not be a part of forever

I could be mad

I float in a sea of aloneness

Try to pay with my atoning

I feel as if those closest to me are throwing the first stones in

I could be mad

Job that disrespected me

Even with my trajectory

Made me focus on monetary ecstasy 

Ripped my heart out the chest of me

Couldn’t acknowledge the birth of the best of me

Cuz I was too focused on the requirements of a job I now know wouldn’t stand for me

Lightweight from the fight that neglected me

Unresolved in my feelings of security

Can I appreciate my giving of everything

A baby grr inside me

I could be mad

I am fighting a war within my self but this post is partum

I’m fighting a body that kills my health

But these words ain’t hollow

I cry in the shower so my hopes can wash off

No one to push me so my dreams are far off

Regulated to the pain

I just need to sound off

The emotional turmoil in my brain 

Leaves me to shy off

I could be mad

 My tenacity is lost

My motivation was lost

There is no way for recourse

Abandonment daily reforced

I could be mad

Not a part of your life

I could be mad

Feeling like a single mother

All this new stuff to discover

Forcing my body and mind to move in ways I can’t uncover

I’m tired

I could be mad

Feeling oh so alone and all those people who used to utilize me for everything life is just carrying on

Enjoy

I could be mad

No vocal approachments 

No reaction to hopelessness

I’m lost and approaching

This is my life

I could be mad 

But Riley is beautiful

- [ ]