The team

I tried to remain those pains...
Keep the word off sayings...but my sayings have brought me to a line i no longer want to preach
.we are in the deep
But the bullshit is now frying it off
No speak of them cost..just people that have been lost off the sytem..
Off the stysoff...reality shift forth
Holding a tinch forth
Realizing these dreams i give forth
I need to reexamine the blessing I give forth

Recognizing these dreams to give forth
Harboring these dreams that give forth.
Lack of insults

Boy change your life these are peacful insults
I need you to hear the balance within forth

I still be riding the dream we reforced blessings of your soul we can end on...get  perturbed  on....no body undestands its all about this road i came from #canarsie

Anger

I tried to remain those pains...
Keep thenword off sayings.but my sayings have brought me to a line i no longer want to preach
.we are in the deep
But the bullshit is now frying it off
No speak of them cost..just people that have been lost off the sytem..
Off the stysoff...reality shift forth
Holding a tinch forth
Realizing these dreams i give forth

Recognizong these dreams to give forth
Harborong these dreams that give forth. ..lack of insults..boy change your life these are peacful insults
I need you to hear the balance within forth
Basing blessings of your soul we can end on...get  perturbed  on....no body undestands its all about this road i came from #canarsie

Breaking back

Shattered
The pieces of me sparkling in the fractured light
bouncing off the surfaces
Trying to catch the light through brokeness

This is my circumstance

I was gifted with this affliction
To have to earn my position
To learn how to know these positions
To have to grow from dispositions

To have to know through superstitions
To have to show through realistic living
To still give a go of the cards dealt this christian

This ain't spades and I can't renege
I'll do this bid

Failure is easy
Success takes fighting

Each time this body feels as if its dying
Brings more enlightening
I know im surviving
So I have to keep trying

Have to keep trying

My mind and heart divided

My faith and soul divided

My  isolation and alone is not subsiding

But im fighting
I will continue fighting

I will continue to grow and evolve
Til i reach my resolve
This is about you not me you have to know

I believe in yall

I break
But I break back
Hoping my being is in tack
Mind still attached

I find pieces of me missing but I  break back

Its a trap
but it knows
I won't fall for it
So
I may break but it leads me back to my place

I always break back

Mother

My mom is better than your mom. I love and adore me some her. She tolerated my craziness from the beginning...I was ready for the world..I tried to walk out with the umbilical cord curled around my neck...breached..emergency c-section...lima bean, fetus shaped...my dad immediately nicknamed me beanie. Then they found out I had sickle cell anemia...they both had traits...I was the only outlier that had it..in my WHOLE FAMILY
Every hospital stay she never left my side, she pushed me for greatness and that is what I live for now...for my mom to be proud..
If I was in the hospital for 4 wks so was she, new treatment never leave my side, crisis put me in an epsom salt bath, massage my legs until the pain went away, there thrpugh transfusions, sirgeries, crisis, the only person I let cry with me (because this disease is crazy and though I look okay this invisible disease is killing me), deal with the constant stupid measures I use to cope...be there..really be there....I love you mom..horribky....i love mom..you don't love mom..whats wrong with you
#popholdingitdown