I do realize when I'm alone...how alone I am. I think back to a time where I was so spoiled it was sickening.In my head I was always alone skeeming.....an actress at heart. I purposely blamed things on my sisters and I was instantly believed. I was the one who when my sisters and there friends needed confirmation on a lie they would turn to me. It was easy to look in my angelic face and believe whatever I said. That's actually how I got out of a lot of tight spots.
I don't know if my experiences turned me to counseling but I know they did turn me into me. I will forever remember and hold my youth, my experiences...my colors. Yeah with time they fade but they still live deep down inside of you reminding you that this is what you used to breathe, eat......C!
Let's start from the beginning....I was born on March 22, 1982 the last of my mother's and father's kids. I was diagnosed with Sickle cell anemia at birth. Imagine being 6 and after various hospital stays being told you can't run, jump or play. I guess that's the first time I used my resilience. I ran the 200 meter and 50 yard dash and won every race at Colgate women's games I ran. Then came softball and then my love...basketball. I fought against myself and the things happening around me.
Life was........dangerous at that point. As I sit on my bed typing I look around and have a chance to appreciate where I am at and what I have done. I mean it was only several years ago I was being thrown down stairs and sliced on my face. The constant looking over my shoulder still happens today..but if I'm in the city now, it's from force of habit. Brooklyn is a whole 'nother story.
The story of my blues started in Canarsie, I was 12. When I saw my sisters fighting , well where i was that means your fighting too......that's when I stepped into a square and it changed my life. The sky was clear and crystal....and that's when like it...I became blue.
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