Cosmic

  



My mind jumps at the speed of  light, I think its cosmic

The message of this earth stands to be forgotten
in a simple stance of neglect
We are who we surround ourselves with
Withering under the thoughts of lean.........
leaning on the thoughts of me
It slows and finally I see...............


The brink of chaos sits on my tongue
It dwindles in my pause
and gives me cause to measure
The flesh wants pleasures that I need to ward off

I repent, in this moment I admit my wrongs
falling to my knees will not suffice
I need your spirit to move within me
To caste away the songs
that play and play and play

Conflict of internal proprieties
Holds captive our society
Blurring lines between right and wrong
I see those eyes
Hands by my side
Ready to launch if I have to
Attention grabs you
The gaze holds my heart steady
I'm ready, it took awhile to get here
Love didn't live here
now it does, Abba told me so

Drops

 

Detrimental to the mind, the heart beats alone/

If only I'd known, a place to settle and call home/

I'd of been above it, but i wasn't/

the illusion of self care and better welfare swirl like a tropical storm over troubled water/

I am my parents daughter, struggling to be my own

The tears fall from the brown leaving the retinas in awe 

I try to see but i'm lost.....it flows heavy as if it dismisses me

It drips from me

Air bag empty consistency

the lights go out and im scared

I blink

but the tears continue to drop

In his ride.........

To what do we owe this appearance
Blaphemist from the past
I heed your laugh and raise you a chuckle
His holy spirit soothes my troubles
And make's you come to past

That's why the struggle has increased
and the crime in these streets has come to rise
I take this ride with my faith by my side
I am a passenger in his ride
Many times humbled but not willing to sit by

Material things over serious things
Encasing the potential of a spirit
These streets are withered
with the poverty of their song
Let us pick you up

We move along but
Are prone to walk by when somethings wrong 
Our peripheral turned off 
Mine's has never ceased to stay on

These teens in these streets
these some mean little streets
Begging to move on
The dust rises and brings dawn
I pray

I WRITE FOR MOMENTARY RELIEF

I write to stop the thoughts filling my head
Beating the shores of my mind with capsizing waves
Its one of those days
Where my mind has shut out the divine and all I can hear is the devil's roar

My mind is in annihilation
Leaning too far right for concentration
I try to pause and get some gauze
to relive the essence pouring out of me
Im beside myself, defillibrating my cardiac arrest
My heart has grown cold

Try to read the word to get back to where I should be
Finding that the lights are no longer guiding my way
This is a day like any other except my mental chose to stutter
leaving me harboring words, i can't discover

I write to bring the breathe back from it's last draw
I write because if I don't my head will start a war

That will grow from the core not allowing the spirit into my body
My soul to reach lightly to turn on the lights from the darkness of a day
I write for a comfort that does not come from an illegal or legal  substance 
to balance out whats wrong...

Momentary relief...........

Sea of doubt

My thoughts capsized by the raging sea of doubt
Screaming but no one can hear me out
The abundance of my feelings
Stuck as I hit the glass ceiling

Seeking to hide
Power to divide
From the endless, restlessness of my soul

I was whole but now im torn apart
Beginning to end and ending to start

I breath as the consciousness of my being
spills out in wisp of a foreign content
Leading me to responses
I never wanted to hear

I am here, but only in spirit
My body, now i fear it
Too close but so far that no one can hear it

I scream
because even in my dreams it is present
Signs of a peasant because my value has been weakened
I no longer know what im seeking
just that i have not found it yet

Or that safety net that hold me up when I have faltered
How I long for
Someone to keep my head above water
I can't do it alone
My heart beats on its own

And yet answers still elude me
Like the partner I cant find to sooth me
I continue on alone..........

Enlightenment rears......

Who are you to call me broken
Created in his image
Repenting for forgiveness in this world of loss
I have seen the light of day and it did not include you
Oh how the mighty have fallen
Bitter with name calling, to make you feel better within yourself?

Years of molding and constant erosion capsizing over a sea of naught 
It brings the light of well knowledge, deeply regarded secrets of the loss
It fills your body with the reward of seeing through the dirt
It will hurt and bring you pain, driving you to swim endless in the words 

Then it's over

For unto you the knowledge that has rested inside you
You wanted to deny too, making you keep ties to
has loosened it's mighty grip
You see it in the words, the actions, the constant distractions
Leading you to where you learn.......

And then you do........

Learn......

Tools

The tools of my trade has me running for an outlet to trade all my tools.
Epiphanies don't just happen, they are born from dreams.....wants....needs...
The ever changing present makes me scream for a new future...all while bluffing my way through a hand that others would have folded in long ago. 
The repression of my transgressions allows the bitterness to fester. It seems in the end the joke is always on me as if assigned to constantly play the jester
Making myself look the fool.
The sensation of my own annihilation creeps slowly through my mind.

Creating travesties and thoughtless things to the epicenter of this living.
I know I have been given, the gift of many things to praise and sing and yet I'm still held within the rapture....
My heart beats faster.....I know who I want to become but his work is far from done
Its hard to trust within a cause.
Life's constant disappointments, leave me feeling disjointed as if the sickle cell has won....

I look around within my circle to gather all my wits.....
Trying to find a cause of the effect it brought and why it still lay's unconquered
You could say that the......
Way I came to be, left me thirsty with no water....

In the end.....I am my father's daughter
Hoping to get a reprieve, working with tools I never encountered