Falling beneath the stars

We always dream of a better life, those accustomed to nothing. Hoping that for once a light is bestowed on to us that could weather through the darkness already foretold to us. A life of less pain, more pleasure, less hurt and more forgiveness....for we still live in the shadow of a master we cannot see.

Laying in a line of fire, doused with uncertainties, conditioned in failure to the lost of hope.
Bonded by the hurt of lost.

A cycle emerges and continues shining in all crevices but still pointing out our shadows in darkness...a darkness that can never leave, a darkness that is always there, a darkness that becomes both friend and foe telling us we can never be whom we think we are just who we are told to be...
So i sit in the darkness beneath the stars because they say shoot for the moon even if you miss you will land among the stars but with no one to catch them.....many exist beneath them with no one to acknowledge their existence

Is it okay to feel like this?

Is it okay to feel like this?

The weight of the world unbalanced and standing within the pit of your stomach

The thoughts of fear

The longing of prior

The nervousness of beyond

Is it okay to feel like this?

The pressure of the road walked and the path ahead seemingly disappearing within the shine of the tears that currently envelop the eyes

The world battling for your attention as you battle for the attention of your self

Fighting the signs, symbols and omens that you think may not end up going your way

Is it okay to feel like this?

To dream of the time where the most worried you were was getting home drunk from an all-night bender

To wistfully think about the bottles of wine consumed to block the pain rendered useless as this condition pleads for none

Is it okay to feel like this?

To wallow in the doubt of fear and the fear of doubt

To request the sanctity of being free from these thoughts

To recapture a mind with whom I am no longer acquainted with

Is it okay to feel like this?

On the cusps of a black hole textured to look like an epiphany of where life begins, began will begun

The placating of one’s self challenged by the relentless nature of what is, will be and whats to come

The unknowing of whom you are

A grown woman

Becoming a little girl lost

Being a little lost

Looking around because damn I’m lost

I’m at a lost and it brings me down

Little girl blue

Little girl blue

A dark cloud settles and the gloom begins to set in

Reversal of time or is it time lost

This little girl blue is on a boat in unknown territory and seems lost

The roughness of the waves

The sway within their force

This little girl blue is now on an unchartered course

Winning to find but only finding the loss

Little girl blue

A sadness washed within her eyes

Little girl blue

The gleam of lightening brightens the sky

Little girl blue

But this little girl is lost

Awaiting landfall on this unchartered course

Little girl blue

Pain of it all

The smell of the saltiness

Through the rise and the fall

Little girl blue

Nothing to say

Because this little girls blues won’t be over today

Our world

Another day another death

The speculating spectrum
leading to regression
wanting to wallow in continuous overt racial oppression

But my eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the lord
The truths of this country marching on while
black man are shot down, character annihilated, trampled over
JUST STAY DOWN
before they make more excuses cuz we just dogs and they need to
PUT US DOWN

That crack sound, revisiting the demons within those crack vials
Revisiting the drug laws of this government "crackdown"
Pushing our heads under water not wanting us to surface
giving us no chance to 
BREATHE NOW (wheeze sounds)

Tis country tis a thy bears no inklings of liberty
elluding it's said sympathy
so many inconsistencies
leading to regime's of anger
by the white supremacy

BUT OUR TRUTHS KEEP MARCHING ON, RIGHT???

Standing on my own 2 feet. How can you walk a mile in someelses shoes when we need to be barefoot

Im often standoffish
Came from the bottom to create my portion
Struggle in my own until i was woken
knowing that people depend on me almost every...day....often
Been there and swam back
Pain is what ive always engulfed in
My endorphines
Make me break in caution
Life struggles created a warrior who will stand on the top of this barrier
I been here before

Often....

Take the angst of your life into me because i already do it so often
The rapture is upon us but you still feeling good because i embodief your abhorrent

See no evil because i already faced the clouded black eyes and fear of his offering

Choose good or evil is the fight that appears often....paralyzing feel because i need to be powerless to his offering

I used to kill with non conformance and be steeled
To survive this life often

Reinvest in a life who's dividends have not got you there often

Worked so hard to survive
And now im questioning all it
I do the devils work
Im gods child and i spoil it

I am powerful beyond words and so scared i ignore it
The valley allowed me to lay around and be in the darkness
Because his light has always supported
Even when i felt u supported
When i recked myself and put my self in a bubble of no supportives

My levees of life have broken down
But im holding up for it
Life has smacked me down but i have never ignored it

Satiated the causes
Slamming all the doors you opened up for it

I cant see around or move my mouth to think peace will award it

The rapture is beginning
Are you ready to choose a side for it or ignore it?

Abba is my truth and he makes it rewarding

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
Because i am the one who could"

Bet on this knowledge i need you to get often

I am a powerful enigma so satan will lean on me often

He will try to disrupt me often
He will try to destroy my strength often
He will try to turn me around from the road i have beating here and walked barefoot with bo shoes by making me embody

Constant

Detouring

My life is open to let you understand where this is going
Tend to the sheep and build so that our shepards ways are open

I constantly feel the choking
From not being open or
knowing where i am going or
how quick i will be going or
how disappointed i can be in slowing
relapsing the growing
only to reflect and be knowing

Only to except
Discombobulated flowing

My perception of things are not knowing...
There all knowing

My rights and dreams have been flowing
My light it seems is still growing
We can go back in things but the realization and eveidemce
makes alive and still growing

I will leave my heart open because the dark that thinks it can win will be surprised at the weight of the light it fights and tells  to cease growing

It appears in the end

Living in honor and finding honor are 2 different things.

I was lost and crushed and he changed my life

Perception is everything
He changed my life

Couldnt discover how much it hurt to live my life...drilled through the hard shell of me cutting off people in this life

Wanted all his knowledge because it raised my life

Pay attention to details because he taught me right

Ability to be in a free world and do whats right

All hope was given
By you in my life.

I made a decision to change hearts
like you did for my life

It was an end but the beginning of the road within my life

I have risen because the strength you gave me for my life

A student but a client
You helped me survive my life

I want to give thanks for you having helped develop my life
Whether you ever know it or not i need you to understand your hand was prevelant within this life

Im a better person because of you in my life
I love you dearly
You will be here forever through writing and having touched this life

I will never forget.....
How you changed my life

I love you Dr. T

Taxedermy

I feel stuffed
Life ripping out my internal organs
Propping me up so i adhere to its demands
Going through the motions of playing dead The mask in place
With all the fads we chase
The choices we make
The promises we break
The continuity we can lose in a second never to replace
The forgotton tools of reforming it all within a better space
Mind was in a better place
My mind used to be in a better place
 No paparazzi Anonymy is what makes you never see this face
Monogomy in a facetious way
Can't let the media and normalizing of violence lead the way
We need to pray
Never let the ends justify the means by this way
Never go back to the days of lethal way
Our children are dying
Yet yall motherfuckers still won't lead the way
Yall the reason why our kids are struggling and live to be this way
Grow up to be this way
Don't get mad at me I just say what we all want and need to say
Let him lead the way
You never can see this way
Unless you are smart and woke enough to see this wayl