Hate

It flows through my veins

Embedded in my head and there is no way to get it out

The challenge is never a challenge, until it becomes a challenge

I seeth with the demean you show my society

I gleam with the sweat of blood and tears

I hate that you don't see what needs to be done

for the world to be one

or at least function as such

I hate that you throw out misdirection

to leave me unprotected

thinking I was in the wrong

I hate that I still struggle,

Though I'm a Master of three

A counselor for free

And give up all for your conversation

I hate that I still need to search

I lack the birth

To give me cause to carry on

I hate that I feel behind

While everyone thinks I already bend that curve

The cliff exist

for me to fall off from

Ignore more from

And think that I'm okay

I hate that everyday news is carried away to satisfy the network sponsors

I hate that you don't see, cuz you choose to be

Blind

I hate that I still love you so much

I hate that we can't be friends

I hate that this happened again

I hate that, I have hate in my heart

Its time to depart and just tell you my dislikes

My resign

Headlights in the rearview

They coming fast

I hate careless drivers

Prizes.........

I ran to see if the prize was won

The hook never grasped the fluff of the bear

I'm the preacher of this sermon

I rebuke the unworthy vermin

Only to fall trap to the devils needs

I need for things

Illustrations help, cuz im visual

Your worthlessness leaves residuals

How do I get rid of it

Be rid of it

Give back to the innocent

Bend to it

Pause

What makes you feel dirty?

Brick wall stabilized

Fantisized between these thighs

Sarah Jones revolution will be televised

Mine has to be qualified

To feel that i am worthy

I write with my heart and see with my eyes

I write with my left but lose with my right

The ampedextrious have no need here

To be here...this belongs to a one armed bandit 

We only C here

Performance is not just a show

I see it everyday

Questioning the laws that protect us all

I do shit for people

Sometimes its illegal

But fuck it the world still turns

Doesn't it???

And i wake up alone........

Bright lights hide the shadow following in my wake

The sun breaks as the clouds run for cover

Filled in days to treat the blaze that the firefighter couldn't conquer

Bar hopping, show stopping good times

Plays and shows, bros and hoes

Lounges that make you skate your honor

Jumping out of planes, wings and thangs

Shots of H2O and absinthe

Ride that bull

Aphrodisiacs don't tell me what I want

But they give me what I need

Bleary eyed, shadow lined eyes reading deep into a sponsor

In life I trust

Queen bed to crush, all the forbidden answers

Playing blackjack chased with pickle backs

The fogginess don't lead to answers

Duck, duck, goose...your it

Then your not

And I wake up alone.........

Running away

The footsteps are resounding.....as they taper off

The trip down the stairs was intensified by the metal door.....

Disoriented I stagger to a stand.....

The warmth of the blood drips down my face

The saltiness of it....increases the anger

This is no stranger, but someone that should be trusted

Running into the yard I backtrack

Open the basement door hatch and crumble to the floor

2 minutes

I run up to the room that was mines for so long grabbing items that I can't really distinguish

Hoping I am as silent as I have been for so long

My heart rate won't slow and the adrenaline still has me feeling no pain

Back at the hatch 

Into the night......

Running.......................................

Breath labored, chest hurts

I continue to run

Not all who wander.........

The deafining display of life plays out

My actions have always spoken louder than words

Here my words will speak louder than actions

Causing chain reactions

Cause is still unknown

So I walk

Til feet are blistered, in search of a new adventure 

to challenege the one that's gone

Hopstopping up the avenues

Getting a kinder view of what has been lost for so long

Life happens throughout everything

Its the way of things

Perception is the cause

Walking the earth

Feeling mother natures birth and appreciating what it formed

This maze eludes me

Tries to fool me

Blocking me in, so I can't move on

Yet I have never stopped moving

The momentum of the desert sand 

Make's me cry for a mirage

Where am I?

Watching the ocean swallow the horizon

Who knows the timing?

 Or when we will be gone?

Pressure rains........

We come in alone and that is the way we go out

Never sure of the route or where it will leave us

That's why I talk through Jesus, cuz he's been present all along

NOT ALL WHO WANDER ARE LOST                                                                                                 

Imperfect Beauty

It lays at my shoulder so that a glance helps me to remember

Broken soul, painstakingly pieced back together

No matter how new it looks inside it is always broken

Tested through experience and vicarious assaults

Broken down to lose the heart fought for

The effortlessness is not so, it takes practice

Acting is not only a career, it's a need for people like me

Chaos reins within my heart, body and soul

Who I am on the outside is constantly judged 

Who I am on the inside is only known by me

The pieces of the jigsaw puzzle all come from different boxes

leaving the picture to never be solved

We are our own worse enemy only after the real one has left us to pick up the pieces of the life they ripped away

Bites to our hands to get the grip from us

Missing coins land on the engagement that was also lost

So we sleep on trains for your benefit of the doubt

Breaking bad while my face hit the concrete

I try to forget

Telling lies to keep my life......not realizing how destroyed it already has become

Step in my shoes and you might never wake up......

Ever break up

Ever come to the realization that your life is fucked up

Life goes on.......

Cherry Blossoms float off the branches with grace, to lay at rest

Beautiful in their fall......

Once they hit the ground the deterioration starts

 I do what I do, I say what I say, I make mistakes, I suffer from self esteem issues, I suffer from the neglect of nurturing love, I suffer through my pain, I suffer....but all you can see is beauty

All I see is Imperfection

Childhood games

I'm trapped inside us, trying to remember me

Someone said freeze

The whirlwind of love left jaded pictures 

How do I seperate it?

Hiding and seeking

All I see is you, where did I get lost?

The valley tells me that it has been discovered before

Entrapping the soul of the ones that were unsure

Leafing through memories leads to flashes of brilliance

The blinding light cause lightening strikes within my heart

The gathering of goods tells me this is over

Marco..............

Where are you?

The Polo is gone

Is the game over?

Manhunting these empty alleys of the heart in order to find love hidden under a car

Tag your it

Mother may I......grow strong in order to start anew?

The light is RED so I stay still, waiting for the go

I been ducking your goose 

in a silent game of musical chairs

Childhood games still plaging the grown

I don't want to grow up, I'm still a............

 

We were young  and now we are not........

So sit your ass down and take these cards, let me figure out when your bluffing

It's time to play the hand you were dealt